Six Moves
by Cress
Summary: A short, sad Joey:Chandler story set during the early part of season 10.
1. Stuff That Needs To Be Said

[This story contains MAJOR SPOILERS for episode 10.03 (and some for 10.04), so don't read this if you haven't seen season 10 yet. Thanks to Jana for her valuable suggestions.  
  
Anyone who saw the opening scene of 10.03 should recognize where the title of this story comes from. It was a scene that was just crying out for a follow-up.]  
  
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Joey and Rachel had broken up and agreed to be just friends. At least it was a mutual decision, with no one's heart left crushed and wounded. Joey just wished it hadn't taken so much physical force to come to that conclusion; he was rather sore afterward.  
  
They told their other friends the following day, and Monica remarked that maybe it was just another one of Rachel's passing crushes on guys like Joshua, Danny, Paul, Tag. And maybe for Joey it was just his latest attempt to win over an unattainable woman; he'd tried to get serious with Ursula, Kate, Kathy, Janine, Erin, and Charlie, but he had lost them all, sometimes without any real reason.  
  
Reminded of all this, Ross hugged Joey and spoke with guilt, "I'm sorry, man. Especially about taking away Charlie from you; I didn't mean to, but it just sort of happened that way. And I'm ashamed that we got into competition over that girl Kristen too, and Mona..."  
  
Joey shrugged and said, "Nah, don't worry about it, Ross. You couldn't help it. I mean, me and Chandler liked the same girls sometimes too."  
  
Chandler nodded and put his arm around Joey too. "Yeah, like that Dutch girl, and Ginger, and Kathy. And I can't tell you how many times I've had a dream about one of your hot dates, Joe."  
  
Monica cleared her throat warningly, so Chandler said quickly, "The point is, we all seem to have similar tastes in women, and we just have to remember to stay friends no matter what."  
  
"Yeah, friends forever." They hugged each other, then parted after a moment.  
  
Ross joked, "Man, can you think how complicated it would have gotten if we all had been after the same woman? Like maybe Janice?"  
  
Joey shuddered in horror. "No way! That would never happen."  
  
Ross shrugged and chuckled teasingly. "I don't know, Chandler got pretty serious about her once, and I liked her that one time before she dumped me. Plus, Janice did say that she might come back and go for three out of three!"  
  
"All right, that's it!" Joey tackled Ross and got him into a headlock.  
  
Chandler laughed and they all got into a mock fight, until Monica told them to stop being so childish and rowdy. So they all decided to take Joey out to a strip club to cheer him up.  
  
***  
  
Joey eventually got back to dating, with some help from Ross and Chandler. The guys had noticed Joey's pattern of getting attached to smart, sophisticated girls, so they had searched among their colleagues for women to set Joey up with. Maybe none of these women were *the one* yet, but they had depth, and Joey could use all the practice he could get at pursuing real relationships instead of one-night stands. He wanted to be ready when his true match came along.  
  
One night while Rachel was at Ross's apartment, helping him babysit both Emma and Ben, Joey sat at home reading his script for the next *Days of Our Lives* taping.  
  
Chandler dropped by and asked, "You doing anything tonight, Joe?"  
  
"Just going over my lines. You wanna help me rehearse?"  
  
"Sure. I got nothing to do, since Monica's working late at Javu's again."  
  
Joey got up from his recliner and moved over to the yellow couch. "Hey, get us some beers while you're over there."  
  
"Okay." Chandler stopped and grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge, then he joined Joey on the couch.  
  
After they opened their beers, Joey handed him the script and pointed out the scene he was working on.  
  
"So who am I playing?" Chandler asked as he took a sip of beer.  
  
"Uh, Olivia, actually. She's thanking Drake for rescuing her sister and helping her divorce her evil husband Connor."  
  
Chandler rolled his eyes. "Boy, the drama never ends on *Days of Our Lives*, does it?"  
  
Joey found Chandler's sarcasm quite different from how Rachel, as a devoted soap fan, always took the lines way too seriously and got deeply invested in the plot. He frowned and asked, "You don't wanna do it?"  
  
"No, I'll do it." Chandler figured that it could be fun, just like in the old days when he rehearsed with Joey regularly.  
  
So they read through the script, and Chandler put on his best melodramatic voice. "Oh Drake! You saved me. How can I ever thank you?" He was on the verge of laughing out loud.  
  
Despite Chandler's hammy imitation of a woman, Joey put down his beer and played his role with complete seriousness and professionalism. "It's the least I could do, for the woman I love."  
  
"Oh, Drake!" But then Chandler saw the next stage direction and sat back warily.  
  
Joey blushed slightly too, but he cleared his throat and read aloud, "They kiss passionately." Then he resumed his Drake Ramoray voice. "Olivia, now that you're free from that monster's clutches, will you marry me?"  
  
"Of course, Drake! I love you so much."  
  
"And I love you!" Again Joey coughed and read flatly, "They kiss again." Then he turned the page and spoke his next line from the script, "Now nothing can stand in our way."  
  
"Yes, now we can be together, like we should have been all along."  
  
"And now I can hold you in my arms again, and feel your soft lips, and make love to you..." Joey's face, body language, and voice all conveyed a surprisingly intense passion.  
  
Chandler was very impressed. Joey's acting skill had clearly improved over the years, and he was speechless.  
  
Joey glanced back at the script and read, "They kiss again and end scene." Thinking that was enough practice for him, Joey tossed down the script and uttered a casual "Thanks, dude" before drinking his beer again.  
  
"Uh, yeah." Still somewhat stunned, Chandler drank too and tried to think up with some snide joke to make; he could usually find plenty to mock in the ridiculousness of the soap's plot or dialogue, or at least he had the first time that Joey was on *Days*. But perhaps he'd already made enough comment earlier, and he didn't want to belittle Joey's convincing performance.  
  
Joey sat back and wondered why Chandler didn't ask him curiously about the next scene. Rachel would always pester him about the next scene, and he would reply that he didn't know or care what happened next. The first time that he was on *Days*, it was a dream come true, and he'd been crushed when he lost it through his own arrogance and stupidity. Now Joey looked on the role as just a cushy job, hoping that if he didn't get too emotionally attached to it, then he wouldn't end up heartbroken if and when he got written out again; Cecilia Monroe had shown him that all good things end, even if you think you're established.  
  
Chandler pat Joey's knee and said, "That was good. Maybe you'll get a Soapie award this time around."  
  
"Maybe." Joey considered it. "If I get nominated, do you wanna go with me to the show?"  
  
"Me? Really?" Chandler turned to him with surprise.  
  
Joey shrugged. "Yeah I don't know if it would be comfortable me going with Rachel again."  
  
"Oh, you're not over that awkwardness yet?"  
  
"Sort of. Maybe. I don't know, I just think it would be simpler if I go with you. I mean, you have supported my career, Chandler, and this way, I also don't have to choose between Phoebe and Monica again." Besides, after witnessing Monica's awful behavior at his rooftop soap opera party, Joey didn't want her coming anywhere near soap stars again.  
  
Chandler just nodded, remembering the shameless competition over who would go with Joey to his WWI movie premiere. But people always got a little star struck by celebrities and red carpets, didn't they? In any case, Chandler felt flattered to get picked twice, without even making a bid to get invited.  
  
Joey added with a modest laugh, "Plus, maybe you can get me to remember my Gracious Loser face."  
  
Chandler grinned with him, but then he realized that his hand still lingered on Joey's knee, so he withdrew it quickly. Reaching for his beer again, Chandler coughed and was reminded of something. "Hey, um, you never got around to telling me about your six moves, Joe."  
  
Joey looked up from his beer. "I didn't?"  
  
"Nope. Because we stopped on the third one, remember? Because of the," he blushed, "the thigh thing."  
  
"Oh! Right." Joey remembered too and averted his eyes in embarrassment. He had demonstrated his third move by lightly grazing Chandler's thigh with his hand. And if that moment weren't weird enough, Chandler had also commented that he really liked it.  
  
At the time, they broke away from each other and scurried to play foosball and drink beer, trying to be macho and aloof again. God forbid that they should seem gay for a moment.  
  
Joey started to get up and suggest foosball again, but Chandler stopped him. "Wait. Um, I was--I was kind of curious what the rest of your moves were, Joe."  
  
"You were?"  
  
Chandler nodded and put down his beer. "Could you tell me all of them? Maybe I could use them with Mon, you know?"  
  
"Oh!" Joey looked at him and chuckled teasingly. "What, you having trouble in the bedroom again?"  
  
"No!" he answered indignantly. "We're doing just fine. I just thought I'd try something new, you know. Spice things up a little."  
  
"Okay. I guess I can help you out." 


	2. The Lesson

Joey sat back on the couch and cleared his throat, with the air of an expert instructing a lowly amateur. "Well, you remember the first three moves, right? I look into her eyes, I kiss her, and then I do the thigh thing." When Chandler nodded, Joey continued, "Okay. So then, my fourth move is to put my other hand on her shoulder."  
  
Chandler shrugged and joked, "Sort of like twister--right hand thigh, and left hand shoulder." He reached out and pretended to put his hands on the thigh and shoulder of an imaginary woman in front of him.  
  
"No, no!" Joey corrected impatiently. "Not on her right shoulder. On her left."  
  
"Her left? How would you do that?" Chandler was confused as he tried to picture this.  
  
"Well, you reach around the back of course! Like this." Without warning, Joey pulled him closer and demonstrated the move. His left arm slipped behind Chandler's back until his hand rested on Chandler's left shoulder, while his right hand lingered Chandler's left thigh again.  
  
"Oh, um, I-I see." Chandler swallowed nervously.  
  
Joey realized what he had done and let go, backing away to the other end of the couch. "Sorry."  
  
"No, it's okay," Chandler dismissed it with a shrug. "I didn't want to do it the wrong way with Monica. Just, you know, try to tell me instead of showing me. Or, or you can use the couch cushion to show me." He turned and handed a cushion to Joey.  
  
"Uh, yeah. I guess." Joey turned the cushion about, unsure of which part to designate the head, shoulders, etc.  
  
Oblivious to this problem, Chandler cleared his throat and prompted him, "So that's the fourth move, huh? What's next?"  
  
Joey rested the cushion vertically on the couch, bending the lower portion of it forward to represent a small lap. He put his right hand on the "thigh" and his other arm around the "shoulder" of the cushion. "Well, um, this part needs to be coordinated. 'Cause I'm starting to caress her thigh more and rub her shoulder too, and of course I'm looking into her eyes to make sure that she's getting really turned on. Sometimes she'll put her arms around me too or just give me a look to encourage me. It depends on the woman."  
  
"Sure, right." Chandler was glad that he had Monica, whose mood he could usually read just from her face and posture, instead of some other woman whose signs might be totally different or confusing. Chandler had learned over the years that he didn't adapt well to new women; that was why, for a few years at least, he had continually gone back to the comforting familiarity of Janice.  
  
Joey continued his lecture, "Sometimes she'll kiss me too, which is always good. So then my fifth move is that I slide my hand off her shoulder and over to her back, around here." He tried to show where on the cushion, but since it really didn't resemble a woman's body at all, he floundered. "Well, um, just the place where her bra clasp would be, if she's wearing a bra at all. Sometimes I get a nice surprise there, you know?"  
  
Chandler grinned and wished that Monica went without a bra more often.  
  
Joey said, "So I start lightly caressing her back, you know? Trying not to rush it, because some girls want you to just keep kissing them at this point, so I have to just brush her ever so softly, biding my time and figuring out what kind of clasp she's got on--if she's wearing a bra."  
  
"And what if she isn't wearing a bra?"  
  
"Well, she might like the caressing anyway, or I might see if she's got a zipper I can get ready to undo here."  
  
"Oh! Nice." Chandler tried to imagine this scenario. "So when do you move your other hand around and unhook her bra?"  
  
"What? My other hand? I usually do it one-handed."  
  
"Really?!" he was shocked and amazed. "But with just your left hand? Isn't that hard?"  
  
"Not really. I'm an expert, remember."  
  
"Oh. Right." Chandler on the other hand couldn't work bras with any skill at all.  
  
Joey shrugged and sighed pensively. "Well, at least usually I am. I guess something just didn't feel right with Rachel. I don't know, maybe she was right; maybe I do have another level, and I couldn't cross that line with her."  
  
Chandler came closer and hugged him comfortingly. "Sorry." He pat Joey's shoulder. "You'll find somebody else soon."  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay." Joey let go of the cushion and returned Chandler's hug with both arms. Then he smiled and teased, "Hey, look, you're making your move already!"  
  
"What? Oh!" Chandler blushed, but Joey kept him from pulling completely away.  
  
"Wait, let me show you something first. See, this is where you wanna touch her." Sitting next to Chandler, Joey put his hand on the middle of his back, lightly caressing his spine. "Sometimes the girl is kind of sensitive around there, from wearing a bra so much. You gotta rub her the right way."  
  
"You do?"  
  
"Yeah. Hey, you should practice on me. Come on, put your arm around me too. Oh, wait, let me switch first so you can do it with your left hand." He traded places with Chandler on the couch, then resumed touching Chandler with his right hand this time.  
  
"Uh, okay." Chandler reached around Joey's back and tried to imitate his movements.  
  
"A little bit lighter," Joey coached him.  
  
Chandler adjusted his touch and kept rubbing him in gentle circles. "And what do you do with your other hand, then?"  
  
"Well, I keep playing with her thigh and squeezing it. You know, maybe see if she'll let me lift up her skirt or reach around to grab her ass."  
  
"Wow. That's a lot of things to remember to do all at once."  
  
"It's not that hard, Chandler. What, you don't do this kind of stuff with Monica?"  
  
"Well, yeah, a little bit, but lots of times I just let her lead the way."  
  
Joey chuckled and rolled his eyes disapprovingly. "Yeah, you're lazy like that."  
  
Chandler shrugged, and didn't bother to protest that it was more a matter of Monica enjoying being bossy and in control. He said, "I guess it will be more natural when I'm doing it with her. We'll be all kissing and hot, and it should be easier then."  
  
"Right," Joey agreed. "The important thing is not to think too much and just go with the flow. Sometimes I don't get done with all my six moves before the girl will be all over me and wanting to go to bed."  
  
"Wow. What are the six moves again? Isn't there another one?"  
  
Joey reviewed the sequence to figure out what he'd missed. "Let's see, the look, the kiss, the thigh, the shoulder, the back... Oh yeah, there's one more. I leave her mouth then and start kissing my way down her neck and shoulders. Maybe also nibble on her ear. Some girls like that a lot."  
  
"Really?" Chandler was surprised. "Monica doesn't. Says I slobber too much."  
  
"Oh yeah, that's a rookie mistake all right."  
  
Chandler pouted and folded his arms. "Well, how should I do it then?"  
  
"Well, you know, teasingly and delicately and..." Joey tried to come up with more words, but as his vocabulary was limited, he decided to demonstrate his meaning. So he turned Chandler to face him and started to move closer.  
  
"Hey!" Chandler reacted anxiously, unfolding his arms to reach out and push Joey away, but then Joey leaned into his neck and kissed him softly.  
  
Chandler's eyes widened and his voice utterly failed him. His hands froze in place and no longer pushed Joey away.  
  
Joey whispered against his skin, "Just around here." He moved lower. "And here." He kissed again. "And here." At the same time, Joey automatically grazed Chandler's thigh again, and rubbed his back with his other hand.  
  
Chandler blinked and found himself exposing more of his neck toward Joey's mouth. His hands now rested on Joey's arms, not quite encouraging Joey's movements, but still hypnotized by them. It was almost like hearing Joey tell his backpacking through Europe story and getting caught up in wondering what would happen next.  
  
Joey kept whispering his instructions. "Not like teenagers giving each other hickeys, but softly and slowly. And if her earrings don't get in the way, try this." He nibbled on Chandler's earlobe.  
  
Chandler closed his eyes and moaned.  
  
Joey nodded obliviously. "Yeah, she'll moan like that. Especially if you--" He coordinated the movements of his hands and mouth to maximize Chandler's pleasure, drawing another breathless moan out of him.  
  
Giving in to temptation, Chandler started kissing Joey in return and got very hot.  
  
No longer talking, Joey lost himself in the touch as well, eagerly exploring the different tastes, textures, and sounds of Chandler. The more incoherent Chandler got, the better, and Joey now ran his fingers through his hair and tightened their embrace.  
  
They finally turned their faces and kissed each other, but soon their lips parted and gave way to a more passionate, urgent kiss. They moaned again and tasted each other deeply. It was so much better than their New Year's kiss long ago. 


	3. Aftershocks

Chandler belatedly realized that they should stop, so he broke away and stammered, "N-n-no! We, we shouldn't. I mean, we're not gay, and I'm--I'm married!" He jumped up from the couch and backed into a stool behind him.  
  
Joey nodded silently, feeling guilty and confused too. He was still very aroused and couldn't believe what had happened.  
  
Chandler just stood there, staring at him and feeling scared to death. "We should, we should pretend this never happened."  
  
"Right. Yeah." Joey blushed and got up from the couch too. "I'm sorry." He turned and retreated into his bedroom, shutting the door firmly.  
  
Chandler leaned against the stool weakly and wondered what the hell was wrong with him, getting carried away like that. More disturbing than the mere fact of them kissing and necking was how hot it all was. How natural and right it felt, and how easy it would have been to go further. In fact, it was why-weren't-we-doing-this-before? good.  
  
Panicking at that thought, Chandler ran out of the apartment and went home, deciding to keep himself glued to the porn channel until his wife came back and let him confirm that he was straight. He should only feel that way about Monica, not Joey.  
  
On the couch, he closed his eyes and shivered. "Just Monica," he repeated to himself stubbornly. "Not Joey." Then he forced himself to watch the porn and tried to pay attention to it.  
  
Across the hall, Joey crawled onto his bed and tried to calm down. He was very upset with himself and lost. What was it with him and his roommates, huh? Janine, Rachel, and now Chandler. Always aching for what he could not have.  
  
Then Joey remembered his difficulties in getting intimate with Rachel recently. By the same logic, then, shouldn't it be impossible for him to touch and kiss Chandler that way? Weren't they too close of friends to cross that line? And yet, Chandler hadn't flinched from his thigh grazing the other day, nor had he slapped or kneed Joey no matter how intimate they got. He loved it; he wanted it.  
  
Joey gulped and realized that he wanted it too. "Oh no!" He shook his head and tried to deny it. He couldn't be gay! He couldn't be. Even if he was, even if Chandler was too, it was still wrong. Chandler was married. Joey huddled under the covers and moaned, wanting to disappear somehow and forget.  
  
But he couldn't. After a while, Joey decided to call up the girl he was currently dating and see if she could fix him. They had been going out for a while, the longest time that he had ever waited for sex from a girlfriend, so surely it was all right to do it with her now? But when he went to see Sheila and tried his usual six moves on her, he kept thinking about Chandler instead of her.  
  
Using the excuse that he was anxious about his job, Joey made his apologies to Sheila and went home again to take a cold shower. Then he just lay awake in bed, clutching Hugsy and wondering what on earth he should do.  
  
***  
  
When Joey saw Chandler the next day, it was evident in his face that he too had a sleepless, troubled night. The guys avoided each other and tried to hang out with their other friends instead.  
  
After Chandler left for work, Joey overheard Monica remarking to Rachel that she and Chandler should try going to Vermont again, for he had trouble relaxing in bed last night. Joey wasn't surprised.  
  
Chandler readily agreed to the Vermont trip and also found a new sex thing in *Maxim* magazine to try, no doubt to take his mind off the moves that Joey had shown him recently. Of course, the Bings' plans to get out of town were ruined by Ross and Rachel announcing a birthday party for Emma at the last minute.  
  
Everyone complained that they thought Ross and Rachel were having a private party and they'd already made other plans. But Rachel insisted that everybody stay for the party even though Emma was napping for hours and Emma's other grandparents weren't coming, nor were Carol, Susan, and Ben. It was just a very stressful party, and Joey was disturbed when he liked the erotic cake that Rachel had accidentally bought instead of a bunny cake.  
  
He should only be turned on by an erotic cake of a woman, not of a guy's private parts, but all he could think about was tasting the creamy frosting that the others raved about. And when he accidentally glimpsed Chandler's penis in the bathroom, he couldn't stop thinking about tasting him as well. Maybe it would taste just as delicious as his mouth had. Still, Joey knew that such feelings were inappropriate, so he got away from the party as soon as he could.  
  
After the whole disastrous celebration was over, the guests left for good and Rachel was up all night with Emma, who wouldn't fall asleep again after her long nap. Joey stayed up too and tried to help her, for it was the only distraction he had from thinking about Chandler.  
  
Across the hall, the Bings unpacked their bags and didn't bother to drive to Vermont. They were too tired, but they stayed awake to talk about having a baby again. Monica really liked spending time with Emma at the party, and she still sort of wished that Emma was their kid.  
  
"What if we, um, we trade them the Porsche for Emma? I mean, we are her godparents."  
  
Chandler wasn't sure if she was serious or not, but he reassured her, "Look, we'll adopt soon, Monica. Who knows? Maybe, maybe we can ask Joe if his little sister Dina is doing all right raising her baby, or if she needs some help."  
  
"Yeah, or we could try to convince Frank and Alice to give us one of the triplets. I hope they're not still set on this no-splitting-them-up rule."  
  
While she rambled on, Chandler closed his eyes and tried to get to sleep. Maybe he should let Joey be a sperm donor for them after all. They could have a kid and name it after Joey, and be one happy family. They could make Joey godfather and have him read bedtime stories to the baby. Joey's gift to Emma tonight was genuinely moving. If only Chandler could stop thinking about Joey in other, non-godparently ways! He sighed and wondered when would things go back to normal again.  
  
***  
  
Day after day, the guys lived in uneasy, unhappy denial. Joey eventually was able to have sex with Sheila, but only if he gave in to his fantasies and imagined Chandler in his arms. Fighting the desire only made things difficult. Still, Joey felt bad for using his girlfriend that way, and for enjoying the thought of kissing and groping Chandler. Stripping him naked and bending him over to see if he liked that or not.  
  
Joey also sometimes had flashbacks to sex with Kathy, his ex-girlfriend who had a lot in common with Chandler. She liked watching *Die Hard* with him and playing with the chick and the duck, and she was always talking about the same books and other stuff that Chandler talked about. She was so smart and funny, and always responded enthusiastically to him in bed. If he could, Joey might try to win back Kathy now, for being with her would be the closest thing he could have to being with Chandler. But perhaps it wouldn't be enough to make him stop yearning for the real thing, and perhaps Kathy wouldn't get along with Chandler, considering how bad their breakup was.  
  
So Joey tried to stop thinking about that scenario too. He also felt guilty when he heard Monica or Chandler mention the adoption process they were going through. The Bings were gonna be a family soon, and Joey had no right to interfere in their happiness. He shouldn't keep wanting Chandler or trying to hear his voice moaning instead of his Sheila's.  
  
Joey finally broke up with his girlfriend as nicely as he could, without confessing about his fantasies in bed. Then he started making plans to leave New York without telling the gang. Joey had to talk to his agent about job leads in L.A. and also convince the *Days Of Our Lives* writers to write him out again.  
  
Maybe he should go and find his old flame Kate, or maybe he should see if any L.A. guys reminded him of Chandler enough that he'd be willing to go gay. He wondered if any of them would ever taste the way that Chandler did. He'd never know until he tried.  
  
The End.  
  
The lonely, miserable end that the NBC execs have backed me into with their lame, desperate spinoff idea. 


End file.
